Am I Objectum Sexual? Is it Tractor Porn?

Every year I purchase a calendar for my office. I have been doing this for 14 years and there is a very specific type of calendar It must be.  A large glossy shiny wall calendar made by the good people of 'Silver Lining'. It's of tractors posing in various American seasonal landscapes. Each monthly tractor has his own brief synopsis. For example,
The 1957-62 Ford 541 "Offset" tractor
As its name implied, Ford's "Offset" tractor, model number 541 in the Workmaster line, featured its controls and drivers position relocated to the right side for an unobstructed view of implements, which were mounted below instead of behind this high-clearance machine. Ford 541 models were built from 1957 to 1962.
When I go online to order my calendar a rush of anticipation and anxiety runs through me. I swing from "I hope there's more Ford than John Deere models" to "What if the publisher stops making this calendar?" I panic as my Abandonment Schema hijacks my emotional wellbeing.  

I was recently introduced to the film Married to the Eiffel Tower and have been daydreaming about some of the tractors I've fawned over in a new way. Maybe I have, in my active imagination, had dalliances with almost all of these tractors during the years. But when I really think about it I'd give them all up without hesitation to marry the Hoover Dam. 
I love the Hoover Dam. He has all the qualities I want in a man. He's unpretentious, practical, consistent, amiable and enjoys entertaining guests, He is beautiful on the inside and when you explore his inner workings he's full of adventure and fun information. He can handle all my moods too. I can get dizzy staring into his gorgeous centrifugal themed terrazzo floors or I can mope around one of his dank cavernous tunnels. I'm a little intimidated by his presence but feel completely safe within his confines. He's a steadfast American Socialist and is located right in the middle of nature. He serves his community and is impressive to look at from every angle. He reminds me why I moved to the United States. I even respect his ex wife, the Colorado River. She's cool and nice to me but I understand why she loses her patience with him. It's been a complicated and volatile relationship.